I know this had been talked about quite a bit– instagram is known to be ‘not the best thing for our mental health’. I honestly never feel all that great after scrolling through my instagram feed, looking at other people’s stories.
Today, I actually stopped to wonder why I feel that way. I realise that the main reason I feel this way is:
I get envious of other people when I go on Instagram–people’s lives, the amount of friends they have, how happy they seem, the beautiful things they are experiencing in their lives, how some just seem to have the most perfect body/ face, etc.
I actually stopped to wonder why I felt so jealous of these people. Why can’t I just rejoice in the good things that they have going on rather than feeling envious? Why can’t I just feel glad and happy for these people. I simply need to shift my mind to rejoice the blessings in other people’s lives rather than to feel envious. Besides that, I have good things going on for me too, I don’t have to show it for these good things to be “real” or to be enjoyed– eg a full 9 hours sleep, comfy pyjamas, perfectly toasted bread with a perfect and balanced level of crunchiness and softness, the way water glides down my dry throat, quenching my thirst upon waking. “Good” things are constantly occurring in my days anyway. // In terms of friends, I actually always feel jealous when I see others with lots of friends and have a huge friend group, and I’d wish I have that. But honestly, I had been in different friend groups before and they rarely end very nicely, there would always be one person who feels left out, complaints about one another may circulate and turn into “bitching”, differences in values and views may cause friction etc. So, even though upon seeing people with a big friend group and lots of friends I feel jealous, I neutralise and rationalise these thoughts by seeing it as a thing with its pros and cons, similar to having a smaller group fo friends, friends from different groups to also be the same. No one has it all, no one’s life is actually perfect. Everyone have their woes no matter how beautiful they are, how many friends they have.
Comparing my life to another person’s based on their social media is simply unrealistic and would always put me in a bad place. So I decided to shift my perspective, to not feel jealous but to rejoice. Moreover, I decided that if it is too difficult for me to stop feeling envious altogether then I’ll simply stop going on there.
Envy leads to desire and can work from so many different directions when on IG, including thoughts such as “awww this person has such a cute dog I wish I have a dog”, “wow they have so many nice clothes and such a great fashion sense”, “they look like they are having such a good time with friends, why haven’t I been seeing friends as much”, “their relationship seem so loving, I wish I were seeing someone too and have someone love me like that” etc. It leads to these endless desires which I personally believe is a root cause to a lot of our sufferings.
Damn, I need to stop. I hate feeling like shit. It is easier said than done for sure, to stop feeling envious, to stop comparing, to rejoice, to be happy for others’ blessings in life.
Maybe I should go on an insta cleanse…. Also insta can be so tiring because it feels like I’m socialising although I am just taking in information on people’s lives in a passive manner. Socialising can be draining, taking in people’s sh*t, looking at people’s lives is simply tiring. Especially as someone who values alone time and me time, have my space to just be, Instagram is easy to reach to when yearning for alone time, but honestly using instagram shouldn’t be categorised as an “alone time activity” because I’m never actually truly “alone”, with others on my mind while on the app, rather than having my focus on me, my own emotions, thoughts etc.
this is just a random dump, I mean this entire blog is. This is honestly my outlet to regulate my emotions, rationalise my thoughts, identify the cause of my unhappiness, find solutions to my unhappiness, hence my blog name.