Today, I was just in a mood. I was feeling quite upset because my travel plans with a friend fell through which threw me off because it means I had to replan my entire trip, potentially do some solo travelling which I’m not too ready for now. When I’m in a mood, I’m not the most pleasant to be around, you know how it is. I would be more impatient, easily irritated, and unpleasant. I got really ticked off by my sister yelling my name over and over to get me to go downstairs to watch a film with her and my family while I was doing my skincare. She called out my name over and over because they were about to start the film and she really wanted me there. I chose to not see her good intents and simply shouted at her for being annoying. She replied “wtf is wrong with you”, and I just said “you’re just being annoying and I’m having a shit day”.
I felt this intense anger and irritation towards my sister and she did not even actually do anything wrong. This happened at around 9-10pm. It got me so worked up I couldn’t go to bed. I hate feeling angry and irritated because I tend to be the person that is the most hurt.
Anyways, I just thought back our conversation and what I said about having a crappy day. I realised that was a really unfair statement towards the day I had, I labelled it as “bad” and simply neglected all the beautiful moments that took place that day.
I went to the park with my family, saw some really cool trees, a really beautiful intense sunset, dinner in the garden, had a really nice call with my friend Sasha. These were just a few of the many nice moments I had in that day. But when I labelled my day as one that is “bad”, I essentially disregarded all these beautiful moments. I let one bad thing that happened in my day (my friend flaking on our travel plans = uncertainty for me) ruin my day.
As humans, we tend to magnify the negatives in our lives, victimising ourselves. Victimising ourselves feels good, I have to admit, it feeds my ego, it makes me feel important. This was talked about in A New Earth, an amazing (life changing imo) read.
After coming to the realisation that I was letting one bad incident dictate my day, I shifted my focus to all the great things that happened. It instantly made me feel lighter, happier, calmer. Sure, it is cheesy, but paying attention to all the tiny beautiful moments in life really makes a big difference 🙂